New Adventures, New Blog!

So, I've had tons of exciting adventures since my last post, the most important of which has been GETTING MARRIED!!!

I love being married! Steve is a great husband and takes great care of me. Although the Adventures of Valerie Shoemaker will never end,  I am now recording my adventures with my new family on a new blog. Please visit it at

http://www.kinkeadfamilychronicles.blogspot.com/

Thanks for visiting!

Happy Adventures!!

Patriotic Duty :)

When Steven and I first started dating, we joked that my motivation for dating him was based solely on feelings of Patriotic Duty. While this is not entirely true, (Steven has many amazing qualities that would have been attractive to me whether or not he was serving in the military) I must admit that it has been fascinating to me to follow the events of the war in Afghanistan with a more personal interest. Learning about Afghanistan and why our military is fighting there has helped me develop more appreciation for the rights and freedoms that I enjoy on a daily basis and have taken for granted. I am so thankful for Steven and the hundreds of thousands of other military members that are fighting to protect our freedom and provide assistance to governments all around the world that are trying to improve their societies and establish basic human rights for their people.

When I first thought of Afghanistan, I imagined it being some small, insignificant, barren wasteland, sparsely populated, and without any remarkable amount of interest or beauty. I imagined it as always having a history of backwards views and oppression towards women and I assumed it was a country full of uneducated people living in huts. However, as I have listened to Steven's description and after doing some more personal investigation, I have found some rather interesting and surprising facts about this country:

-Afghanistan has a population of about 29 million, about 4 million more than the population of Texas.

-Afghanistan covers an area of 652,230 sq km (251,760 sq mi). The country could fit easily inside the Eastern half of the United States.

-Afghanistan actually has some really pretty areas. Steven is stationed at Forward Operating Base Wright (FOB Wright or Camp Wright) which is located in the Kunar Province in the Eastern part of Afghanistan at the base of the Hindu Kush mountain range. I looked it up on google and found some photos of this area that are really quite beautiful. I think it is somewhat similar to Utah's terrain with lots of mountains and valleys, although I'm pretty sure the mountains there are much bigger.

-Women in Afghanistan were not always oppressed as they are now. In the early part of the 20th century, Afghanistan's government made efforts to modernize the country and grant equal rights to women, abolishing the muslim veil and establishing co-educational schools. (And yes, I do get much of my information from the all-wise and possibly completely incorrect wikipedia) However, through many years of war and political upheavals, many of these progressive efforts have failed. It has only been since 1998 when the Taliban imposed restrictions on women's rights that the treatment of women and children has seriously declined. It is my opinion that many of the problems associated with young men joining the Taliban and becoming a part of insurgent groups would be alleviated if women were allowed equal rights and could have access to health care and education that would improve the stability of their families, and therefore the stability of the country as a whole. I believe that the family is the fundamental unit of society. Women are an integral part of the family, therefore they are an integral part of society. If the women of a society are not allowed to enjoy basic human rights, the family will disintegrate and the society will fail, which is exactly what has happened in Afghanistan. I can't imagine what it must have been like for a woman my age to have grown up in that country, to be able to go wherever I pleased without restrictions, and then all of a sudden, in 1998 ( I would have been 16 years old then) to be required to wear a burqa whenever I needed to go out in public, and to be accompanied by a male relative everywhere I go.

I found this photo album on facebook that has pictures of the people in the Kunar region. I look at the faces of these adorable children and wonder- what does the future hold for them? I hope and pray that our military will be successful so these people can enjoy peace and these children can grow up to have happy and fulfilling lives. Perhaps I am being too naive and idealistic for having this hope, but how can I look at these faces and hope otherwise? I know that it is a sacrifice for our military, and for us as the American people who are paying taxes to pay for this war, but how can we, who have been given so much, stand by and NOT do something to help these people?

Anyway, maybe I should either get off my soapbox now or go and join a humanitarian organization to do something more than just talk about what I think should be done. What this all boils down to is that I am very thankful for Steven being willing to do what he is doing and I love him all the more for it. It is really hard being separated from him and not being able to talk with him very frequently, but I fully support what he is doing.

For those of you who are not up-to-date on your current events, here are some links to help you out. I am extremely surprised and, frankly, quite disappointed with how many Americans have no idea why our military is even there.

http://articles.cnn.com/2009-08-29/world/analysis.afghanistan.military_1_al-qaeda-terror-network-afghanistan?_s=PM:WORLD

This video explains why not helping Afghanistan establish a stable government would be a threat to America. The most pertinent info is towards the end of this clip, so be sure to watch the whole thing. (Although this lady's hair really bugs me, I can't figure out why it looks straight on one side and curly on the other. Did she look in a mirror before she went on air?)

http://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/politics/2010/11/23/jk.afghan.people.us.military.cnn.html

I don't want this to sound morbid (because the title of this website is a bit disturbing), but I check this website pretty frequently because it keeps a good running synopsis of current news and recent events happening in Afghanistan. I look at the casualty numbers occasionally, but I figure that if anything ever happened to Steven, hopefully I would know about it before his name showed up on this website. :-S

http://icasualties.org/OEF/index.aspx

2010 Year in Review

For those of you who didn't get a mailed copy of my Christmas letter, here is an electronic version:


December, 2010

Dear Friends and Family,

As I look back on the events of 2010, I have much to be thankful for and many reasons to smile. It has been a fun and eventful year and I am thankful for the goals that I have accomplished, the people I have met, the places I have been, and the precious moments I have enjoyed. As I look forward to next year, I am excited for the many adventures that 2011 will bring.

I am currently living in Provo in a Condo that I purchased a couple of years ago and had been renting out. I have a wonderful roommate, Laura Rivera, who is an excellent cook and a great friend. I also live with my dog, Buster, who constantly entertains me, and who really is a nice dog once he stops barking at strangers! ;-) I am serving as the secretary in the Relief Society Presidency of my singles ward and enjoy the friendships I have developed with the people in my neighborhood.

I began the year working in Real Estate part-time while finishing up my last few classes at BYU. The last home stretch seemed to drag on, but I FINALLY finished my courses and graduated in August! Wahoo! It feels so nice to finally be done with my Bachelor’s degree! I have learned a lot from my degree in Humanities with an Art History emphasis, and I am thankful for the way it has broadened my horizons and challenged the way I view the world. I feel that I am much more understanding, tolerant, and culturally aware because of my degree. I have increased confidence in forming and defending my own opinions, rather than relying on others to create an opinion for me.

With my schooling out of the way, I joined the ranks of many recent college graduates with the question of “What now?” Though my degree in Humanities has little direct relation to the Real Estate industry, since I have had a background in Real Estate for several years now, I decided I would continue with that profession. I transferred my license to Coldwell Banker, where I am currently working as an assistant for a team of Real Estate agents and where I have more resources and education to help me build my business and provide better service to clients. I hope to be able to implement some of the skills I am learning to have a productive and successful year in 2011. Despite the economy being what it is, I am noticing that those who are committed to their job and their clients have continued to be successful despite what market reports may predict. I am looking forward to the many challenges, successes, and learning opportunities this next year will bring.

I was able to go on a family vacation to Idaho in July where we had all sorts of fun boating, hiking, and playing on a home-made water slide. I enjoyed spending time with my adorable nieces and nephews. In September I visited a good friend, Noelle Temple, in Michigan. While I was there, I was also able to visit my Great-Aunt Ruth and Great-Uncle Neil who also live in Michigan who were in their nineties and whom I hadn’t visited since I was an infant. I’m very glad I took the opportunity to do so, because Aunt Ruth passed away earlier this month. Her passing has reminded me that life is so short and fleeting. We must seize opportunities to do things like meet people, visit places, dance to our favorite song, fall in love, and enjoy precious moments, because tomorrow is promised to no one, and some chances may never pass our way again.

As many of you know, I enjoy social dancing very much. I had the opportunity to attend several dance “events” this year where I was able to meet new dancers and improve my dance skills. In January I attended the Utah Lindy Exchange which was a 3-day long dance event full of all sorts of fun Lindy-Hop, West Coast Swing, and Blues dancing. In February I went to Sacramento with a bunch of friends to the “Capital City Swing Dance Convention” which was a weekend full of West Coast Swing classes, competitions, and social dancing. I also enjoyed lots of dancing at local venues throughout the year including the Murray Arts Center, Ballroom Utah, and Blue Tango in Provo.

It happened to be at Blue Tango that one of those once-in-a-lifetime moments came to pass! One night in July, I met a handsome, friendly fellow named Steven Kinkead. When we first met, he told me he would soon be leaving to California for some specialized training for the Army. I thought he was a really nice guy, but with him leaving, I didn’t think there was a chance for anything to really develop between us. However, when he returned and I saw him dancing again, I was once again intrigued by him, he asked me to go to dinner the next evening, and then we dated for a few weeks before he left again to Fort McCoy, Wisconsin for more training. We continued our relationship long distance and were able to talk on the phone almost every day while he was gone. When he came home for Thanksgiving, he asked me to marry him and I gladly accepted! He is a wonderful man who treats me like a princess, and I am very thankful to have him in my life. He is a member of the 744th Engineering Company from Ogden, Utah, and is currently serving in the Kunar province of Afghanistan until November 11th of next year. Having a long-distance relationship has been hard, and the next 11 months are going to be tough, but as Thomas Paine once said “The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly. It is dearness only which gives everything its value.” The rewards of loving and being loved by an amazing person are worth whatever price must be paid. I fully support Steven’s decision to do his part to help keep our country safe, despite the sacrifices that are required. Steven and I are excited to be married when his deployment is over and look forward to the adventures life will bring to us. I pray for him constantly and for the rest of our troops that are fighting for our country and to promote principles of freedom around the world. I am thankful for the precious moments he has brought into my life and for the sweet and gentle way he has encouraged my heart to open, in spite of the wounds life has given it in the past.

It is my hope that your holiday season and the coming year is filled with many precious moments for you and yours. May we all open our hearts a little wider to accept the love that is offered us in both big and little packages each day.

With Love this Holiday Season,

Valerie Shoemaker

Thanksgiving Surprise!!

If anyone had told me back in September that I would be engaged by Thanksgiving, I would have rolled my eyes, shaken my head, and with an appalled tone of voice would have replied "What-EVER!! I would NEVER do something that ridiculous, and I would NEVER get engaged to anyone I hadn't dated for at LEAST 6 months!!"

Well... I have now learned to

NEVER say NEVER!

On Friday, November 26, 2010 at approximately 3:30 pm, just over 2 months since our first date, Steven Kinkead knelt down on one knee in a beautiful grove of pine trees (aka a Christmas Tree lot) in Mountain Green, Utah. A fresh layer of snow covered the ground, the sun was low in the horizon, the air was crisp, clean and quiet. He asked me to marry him. I enthusiastically said "YES!!"

He slipped a sparkly ring on my finger, we kissed and hugged, I jumped up and down with excitement and proclaimed with delight, "We're gonna get married!!!"

As I stood there wrapped in the arms of this sweet, loving, brave, strong, amazing man, I marvelled, as I often have, at how quickly life can change. I am so thankful that this time it has changed for the better. :)

How We Met

As many of you know, I enjoy dancing a lot. Since I moved back into my condo in Provo, I have been frequently visiting a little dance venue just a few blocks from where I live called "Blue Tango" where they have Blues dancing on Thursday nights.

One night, back in July, I danced a couple of times with this nice, handsome guy named Steve. He told me he was in the army and had a couple weeks off before he was leaving to do some training in California. Then he would have a couple more weeks off before he would be deployed to go to Afghanistan. Maybe it was due to an over-zealous sense of patriotic duty, or maybe it was fate prompting me to action, but initially, I thought, "That's kind of cool that he's going to Afghanistan. Maybe I can get to know him a little bit so I can send him an email once in a while and find out how things really are out there from a soldier's perspective." Romance didn't really cross my mind, and I didn't really think there was enough time to allow any chance for anything more than a casual friendship to develop anyway. He seemed like a really good guy though, so that night I asked him to give me a ride home so I wouldn't have to walk the few blocks home in the dark. We chatted a little more in his car, then I wished him well with his training and told him that I hoped I would be able to see him again before he left for Afghanistan. That night I added him as a friend on facebook, (although Steve insists that HE was the one that added ME as a friend, I distinctly remember that I was the first to send him a friend request ;-p) but we didn't really have much communication for a while after that.

A few months later, on September 23, I once again went to Blue Tango and-lo and behold-Steven was there again! I was excited to see him and I asked him how his training went and how much time he had before leaving for Afghanistan. We chatted for quite a while, and he asked me to dance several times. I admit, I was feeling quite flirtatious that night, and it was nice to have someone reciprocate my flirtations. :) At one point in the evening, Steven asked me if I would like to go to dinner with him sometime. I told him I would love to. That night I asked him again to give me a ride home, and we made plans to meet in Salt Lake the following evening for dinner and dancing.

Our First Date

Since Steve lives in Mountain Green, which is about a 1.5-2 hour drive from Provo, though he was willing to drive all that way, I felt bad making him drive that far to pick me up which is why I agreed to meet him in Salt Lake. It turns out that traffic in Provo on Friday nights is HORRIBLE! So though I had planned to meet Steve at a certain time up in Salt Lake, it ended up working out better for him to meet me at Thanksgiving Point where we had dinner. I remember that the dinner I had wasn't as impressive as I hoped it would be, but the conversation was great! I learned a lot about Steve and I began to recognize that he is a very good-hearted man. We had planned to go dancing after dinner, but I had had a long day at work, and that added to the horrible drive in Construction-ridden traffic had given me a headache, so we decided that maybe we should watch a movie instead.

It was a really good first date and I was surprised at how comfortable I felt with him. We seemed to have a lot in common, having both grown up most of our lives in Utah. We had similar interests in dancing, movies, and music. Overall, I was impressed with his ability to keep an interesting conversation going and with his variety life of experience. He was intelligent, humorous, and most importantly of all, he was just a REALLY NICE guy! I felt that he really appreciated having me as company. At this point I still didn't think we would ever be more than just good friends because of the timing of everything, but I was definitely intrigued and was bummed that he was going to be leaving soon.

We had a pseudo-second date the next day. We met each other in Salt Lake at Ballroom Utah for more dancing and then made crepes and watched another movie. Then Steve left for a couple of days to visit family in Washington state. He ended his trip a little early just so he could come see me a few more times before he left. We went on several more dates including watching General Conference together, going to his best friend's kid's soccer game, dinner with the Poll family in Mountain Green, a Halloween Cruise on the Provo River, dinner at the Blue Iguana, and of course, more dancing. :-)

By the time it was time for him to deploy on October 10, we had spent the majority of the last 2 weeks together. Like the words of a certain really cheesy country song, "As the days got shorter, our talks got longer, the kisses got sweeter and the feelings got stronger..." and before I knew it, I was in love!! I couldn't believe that this had happened so quickly! I was really concerned about the fact that it had happened so quickly and I was still nervous about what the future would bring. I was worried that what I felt was just infatuation or the result of feeling that time was passing me by and I just wanted to be married again.

Though I had a lot of questions and concerns, one thing that I did know was that Steven treated me like a queen and that I was always happy to be with him. He is so thoughtful and caring. One example that shows the sweet thoughtfulness that this man is capable of happened the day after we had been watching a movie called "Stranger Than Fiction." Mr. Crick, the male character in the movie brings Miss Pascal, the baker, a dozen "flours" and tells her "I want you.... In no uncertain terms." Later, Miss Pascal brings Mr. Crick "Bavarian Sugar Cookies." While we were watching, I just made the small comment, "I don't know what Bavarian Sugar cookies are, but that sounds really good right now!" The next day, Steven showed up at my door with a bouquet of red rose flowers and a huge batch of Bavarian sugar cookies that he had made and frosted himself! He gave me a big hug and said, "I want you. In no uncertain terms." It was SO cute!! Steven continues to do sweet little things that let me know that he is thinking of me. (Some of these cute little things he says and does also pretty much make him the King of Sappy, but don't tell him I let his secret out!)

Deployment

On October 10th, Steven left for Fort McCoy in Wisconsin for 6 weeks of specialized training as part of his deployment. I went to the Browning Reserve Center to see him off.

Steven warned me then that when he came back for Thanksgiving, that he just might be asking me some crazy questions, so to be prepared for it. Though part of me was excited at the thought of marrying this man, the more sensible part of me was telling me that this was way too crazy, way too fast. I had a lot of strong feelings for Steven, but would they be strong enough to last through a long-term, long-distance relationship? After he left, I thought and prayed a lot about this relationship. I also went through several periods of doubts and concerns, at one point telling him that I thought we should just be friends, and that if I was still available when he got back after his 14 month deployment, I would be happy to pursue a relationship. The night after I told him that, I felt absolutely sick to my stomach and wondered if I had done the right thing. After I had been on a couple of first dates with some other guys that turned out to not be nearly as great as my first date with Steven, I realized that despite my concerns, if there was even a remote possibility that things could work out with him, I wanted to give it a chance. During this whole time, Steven never faltered in his feelings for me. He continued to call me and we would talk for at least an hour almost every day. He continued to tell me how much he cared about me and I knew that he would be willing to do whatever it took to make this relationship work despite the odds being stacked against us. I was really impressed at how much our relationship was able to deepen and grow stronger despite the physical distance between us. Every week or two, I get a CD in the mail that has little videos Steven has made just for me. His willingness to take time out of his day to show me what is going on helps me to feel included as an important part of his life and helps bridge the distance between us. (Also, the fact that he is willing to endure ridicule from his army buddies while he makes these little videos for me makes them that much more sweet to me. ;)

Stay tuned for more information about Steve, the wedding, etc.

Graduation!!!!

It's official!! In August, I finally finished my last class at BYU and satisfied all the requirements for graduation. A few weeks later, in September I opened up my mailbox to find a nice big envelope with my Diploma in it! YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! It feels great to finally be done with this goal of getting a Bachelor's degree that I started 4 years ago! I can't believe it took me so long to finish, but I have learned a lot of valuable lessons that I wouldn't trade for anything.

My degree in Humanities with an emphasis in Art History has been a very fulfilling and rewarding field of study. I was able to travel to Europe to study the works of the masters in person, and get college credit for it! Who could frown at that? I have improved my reading, writing, and critical thinking skills and have learned to appreciate the beauty that is all around me. I have also become much more open to different schools of thought, and have learned to appreciate differing opinions that allow me to see the world from a new perspective.

My favorite teacher at BYU was Carl Sederholm. He taught several of my American Humanities classes and one of my capstone courses. He is a very humorous, caring and thoughtful instructor. Some of the works of art and literature that I now consider some of my favorites were ones that I studied in his classes. We read a book called "The Coquette" which was very entertaining and helped me to look at my own dating habits from a more cautious point of view. We studied paintings by Joseph William Mallord Turner, which exposed me to what is now one of my favorite paintings, "Dido Building Carthage."

I like this painting not necessarily because of its visual appeal, but because of the story behind it. Dido was a widow who was able to overcome many obstacles to build a great city. I guess I like it because I can identify with her character and hope that I can also do great things with my life despite my challenges. We also studied Thomas Cole and his "Course of Empire" series which I also really enjoy. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Course_of_Empire.

In one of my other classes, we were assigned to write a formal analysis of a work of art chosen from the "Beholding Salvation: Images of Christ" exhibit that was then on display at the BYU museum of art. http://monet.byu.edu/emuseum/code/emuseum.asp?style=single&currentrecord=5&page=seealso&profile=objects&searchdesc=Related%20to%20RON%20RICHMOND&newvalues=1&rawsearch=Exhibition/,/is/,/Beholding%20Salvation:%20Images%20of%20Christ/,/false/,/true&newstyle=browse&newprofile=objects&newsearchdesc=Exhibition%20is%20Beholding%20Salvation:%20Images%20of%20Christ&newcurrentrecord=1&module=objects

I really enjoyed this exhibit because it was interesting to see the development of different artistic styles and movements and how the Savior has been a common theme as a subject of art through all these changes. I was really struck by some of the paintings by Ron Richmond, and I chose to write about Exchange No. 8. I liked the representational idea behind this painting, how it represents Christ without showing an actual image of him. It calls to mind the verse in Isaiah 1:18- "though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be white as snow." I would post excerpts from my paper here, but I can't seem to find the file. If anyone has actually read through this post long enough to reach this point, 10 points for not getting bored out of your mind. If you care enough to read what I actually wrote for this assignment, send me an email and I'll find the copy. :p

So basically what I am saying is that my major totally ROCKED and I loved the opportunities I had to study amazing works of art by amazing people.

The End. :)

I like hiking

This is a post I started back in August, but I didn't post it until now because I wasn't quite finished with it. It is interesting to me to see that a lot of the things we talked about on this hike have actually been accomplished! Yay for setting goals and hiking! We did this hike on August 24, 2010.

"I have a new goal to go on at least one hike every week until it gets too cold. We have been having such gorgeous weather here these last couple of weeks, it pains me to let a perfect, cloudless, late summer/early fall blissful day go by without taking a chance to head up to the mountains and enjoy nature's beauty.

Last week, I dragged my two brothers down to Payson canyon. I had never been hiking there, and I've heard some good things about it, so I found some trails online and decided to check one of them out. We didn't have tons of time, and it takes a while just to get down to Payson, so I chose a short "hike" called Grotto Falls. It turns out that it took us a whole lot longer to even find the trailhead marker from the Canyon road than it did to do the actual hike. We walked for about 10 minutes before we got to the end. It was pretty cool, though. There is a little waterfall formation where the water has carved a little "Grotto" out of the conglomerate rock (yes, 'conglomerate' is a word I am proud to say I still remember from my high-school geology class.)

It was fun to go with Ammon & Hyrum. We had some brotherly-sisterly bonding time while we walked and talked about the goals we all have set for ourselves. Hyrum's goal is to get a job, a driver's license, & do well in school. Ammon's goal was to get a better job, which he has ALREADY done! Congratulations! And he wants to go on at least one date every week. My goal is to meet 3 new people every week, and hopefully find someone I can marry."

Stay tuned to future posts to find out more details on how I am doing with my goal.... :)

Yesterday, September 3, 2010, I went hiking again. This time I was with my friend, Daniel, that I met dancing at Blue Tango (I'll post more about dancing later.) We hiked up to the Y and then went past the Y to the little canyon behind Y Mountain. It was really pretty. I wanted to go all the way behind the mountain, but we started our hike at about 4:30 in the afternoon, and it was getting dark before we could get as far as I wanted to go, so we turned around and headed back down. By the way, hiking to the Y at 4:30 on a hot, sunny, cloudless afternoon is a HORRIBLE idea! That's pretty much the worst time to start because its so dang hot. I felt really embarrassed because I was huffing and puffing all the way up. I've done that hike plenty of times before and haven't ever had a problem, but I usually start in the morning or later in the evening when its cooler. The hardest part of the whole hike is getting to the Y. After that its a lot easier and there is more shade and better scenery.

On the way back down, we almost ran over this HUGE tarantula that was just sitting in the middle of the trail. YUCK! It totally made my skin crawl. I have lived in Utah my whole life and have never seen a tarantula in the wild, which makes me think that maybe this was someones pet that escaped or something. I don't think they are natural habitants of this area.

Reflections

I know I haven't blogged for a while, and I do intend to repent of that soon...but I just wanted to take a moment to write down some thoughts I have been mulling over lately.

Today marks 6 years from the day that Lucien died. I look back on these years and sometimes can't believe that so many have gone by already, and other times I think "Really? Has it only been 6 years? It feels like so much longer." I think about how different my life today is from what I imagined it was going to be when Lucien and I married. We probably would have had a couple of kids by now, Lucien would have been done with his flight training and probably would be working for an airline. We might have had the kind of house I've always wanted, etc. etc. Although part of me gets a little depressed when I think of all the could'ves and should'ves and would'ves, a larger part of me is so thankful for what I DO have.

I am thankful for the calm serenity that comes from feeling the effects of the healing hands of time and God's grace after experiencing the turmoil of a shattered heart.

I am thankful for the emotional strength that comes from knowing that I have survived the intense heat and pressure of the refiner's fire, and have become more resilient and luminous because of the experience.

I am thankful for the greater sensitivity to the simple pleasures of life all around me that comes from knowing that the sweetest moments in life are also the most fleeting.

There is much more that I am thankful for that I could list here, but another thing I have come to appreciate is the opportunity to spend more time living life than blogging about it, so I will end this here and say thanks to everyone who has been a companion with me on my journey. Your love and friendship is appreciated. :-)

2009 Year in Review

Every new year, as one year ends and another year begins, I always like to review the past year and evaluate what went well. For me, personally, this is more effective than setting New Year's Resolutions because I feel better and more motivated when I look back on the good things that I HAVE been able to accomplish than to think about all the things I wanted to do, but for one reason or another was not able to do. This also makes me more motivated during the year to do things that I will be excited to add to my list of accomplishments at the end of the next year. So here we go:

January-

-Began my internship at the Smithsonian in Washington DC.

-Took part in a bit of history by attending the Inauguration of President Obama

-Made lots of friends with my fellow interns at the Barlow center and at Church in the Washington DC 2nd ward.

February-

-Had lots more adventures in Washington DC-you can read my February post for more details

March-

-Celebrated my 27th birthday

April-

-Hiked "Old Rag" Mountain in Shenandoah National Park

-Enjoyed the Cherry Blossom Festival in DC

-Participated in Graduation ceremonies with my brother Ammon.

(Okay, here is one thing that I admit could have been improved upon, I still have not officially graduated because it has been really hard to stay motivated to finish my last few GE classes as soon as I had hoped. One thing I plan on reporting in my 2010 year in review is an official graduation announcement.)

May

-Showed my brother, Ammon around Washington DC, visited Thomas Jefferson's estate at Monticello, and said goodbye to the city I came to love.

-Visited my sister, Mona, in Madison Wisconsin.

June

-Went to the "Colorado Country Classic" dance event in Denver, Colorado. It was really fun to see some of the professionals dance and to learn a few more dance moves myself. I went with my friend, Jeremy Burgess and had lots of fun there.

July

-Did lots of homework, took an LSAT prep class, and thought a lot about going to Law School.

-Spent time with my family at 2 different family reunions at Bear Lake: one for the extended Johnson Family with all of my aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. And another for just my immediate family with my parents, all my sisters and their spouses and kids, my brother Ammon (Hyrum wasn't there because he's still on his mission in CA). It was great to enjoy the sunshine, nice weather, and beautiful scenery.

August

-Did more homework

-Went to Wisconsin to babysit my nephews, Bridger and Carter while my sis, Mona and her husband Ben were out of town for Ben's job interviews.

September

-Went to "Desert City Swing" another dance event in Phoenix, AZ. This one was also really fun and really helped me improve my West Coast Swing technique. I hope I can go again next year.

-Signed up for a pre-law internship at an attorney's office in Orem. I learned a lot about what it would be like to be a lawyer.

-Started taking a "ladies only" West Coast Swing class from a great instructor, Shalay Branch. It was tons of fun and I learned a lot.

October

-Finished 2 of my Independent Study classes, studied more for the LSAT

-Went to Wisconsin again to babysit Bridger and Carter again while Mona and Ben did 2nd interviews.

November

-Decided not to take the LSAT because I wasn't going to be ready for it.

-Went to Small Claims court a couple of times and got a little taste of what work in a court room is like.

-Went horseback riding with some friends and fell off my horse because of an equipment malfunction (my cinch strap broke). Despite being sore, (and despite being a little ticked off at some people who shall remain nameless) the horseback riding actually was pretty fun and made me want to learn how to do it better.

-Celebrated Thanksgiving with my family and was reminded of how blessed I am. Life is great!

December

-Finished my pre-law internship and decided that maybe a legal career is NOT for me. At least not at this point in my life. Though I was really excited about my internship at first, as the semester wore on, I was feeling less and less interested in what I was doing and I was having a hard time imagining myself enjoying what I saw my attorney doing day in and day out. It was a great learning experience for me and was exactly what I needed to make an educated decision about whether or not law school was right for me. I have not eliminated Law School as an option altogether. At some point in my life I may reconsider it, but right now I feel that I need to be

doing something that I absolutely love and enjoy doing which right now is real estate.

-Reactivated my Real Estate license and started getting busy building a client base and doing LOTs of BPOs (Broker Price Opinion). I am excited to get back into a business that I love and hope to be very successful at it. I really love working with my Broker and am anxious to help lots of people find homes that are the right fit for them.

-Celebrated Christmas with family in Lewiston, Utah.

-Celebrated New Year's Eve the best way I know how...by DANCING!!!

Books I've read this year: (I'm a little embarrassed that there aren't that many, or else I'm forgetting some)

-The Broker by John Grisham-A fun novel to read while I was in DC.

-He's Just not That into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo -I knew the movie was coming out, so I read the book. Its an interesting, slightly exaggerated, but generally true observation about the dating culture in the US.

-To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee-its one of those classics I love reading again and again

-Resistance to Civil Government by Henry David Thoreau-This is not really a book, more a long essay or pamphlet. It was required for one of my classes but was really interesting to read and consider the huge impact this has had on societies all around the world.

Movies I saw this year:

Taken-I liked it. Good action movie.

He's Just Not That into You-I actually liked this movie. Maybe because read the book or because I can relate...;-)

Avatar-My boss said the main avatar girl reminded him of me. I'm not sure why... The animation was pretty cool, I didn't get to see it in 3D, but I liked the movie anyway.

I know I saw more movies, but I can't remember them.

Cities I visited:

Washington DC

Philadelphia, PA

Valley Forge, PA

Charlottesville, VA

Delaplane, VA

Shepherdstown, WV

Martinsburg, WV

Madison, WI

Denver, CO

Phoenix, AZ

If hanging out in an airport counts as visiting a city, I was stuck in Minneapolis MN several times for several hours between Madison and Salt Lake City. PS-if you ever have to have a layover anywhere while flying AVOID the Minneapolis/St. Paul airport AT ALL COSTS! Every experience I had there was a bad one.

Guys that I kissed:

-ha ha! Just kidding. I'm not going to post that here. But I will say that I kissed less guys this year than last year, so depending on how you look at it, that could be either an improvement or a regression. ;-*

So here's to a great 2009 and a hope that 2010 will be even better!

Thanksgiving...

This Thanksgiving I spent time with my family at my sister's house in Lewiston, Utah. It was a nice low-key dinner, and on the drive up there and on the way home, I began thinking about the things that I really am thankful for. Though it would take too long to list everything, here are a few of the things that came to mind:

1-My Religion-being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is truly a wonderful blessing in my life. Because of my religious beliefs, I feel I have a strong understanding of who I really am. This life can be so confusing sometimes, with so many different entities clamoring for our attention and trying to persuade us to define ourselves a certain way, I am thankful for an understanding that I am a daughter of God. He knows who I am, He understands what I am going through, He knows what will bring true happiness to me in my life. Though sometimes it is easy to believe what many people in the world say about what is or is not true or important, I have found that I really am happiest when I spend time pondering my relationship with my Father in Heaven. Yes, there are some lifestyle restrictions associated with my religion. I don't drink alcohol. I don't have sexual relationships outside of marriage. I go to church almost every Sunday, I pray, I read the Bible and other revelations from God including the Book of Mormon. I live a lifestyle that is different than a lot of people my age throughout the world. But I am happy. I am confident. I know what to expect when this life is over, which makes me cherish and value the time I have here on earth. I believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God, that he is my Savior, that he can help me overcome my mistakes, and help me through any trial or hardship I may have to face, and this belief has made all the difference in my life.

2-My husband- I dated Lucien for one year and was only married to him for 8 months before he died, but the short time I was blessed to spend with him taught me so many things about life and love that continue to have a profound influence on me even now, more than 5 years after his death. Our 6 year wedding anniversary came and went about a week ago. Though I missed him terribly, I couldn't help but feel so thankful that I had the opportunity to experience with him some of the sweetest moments life has to offer. Before I met him it was as if I had been living life in grayscale, and when Lucien entered my life, suddenly his personality and his presence illuminated the world around me in such a way that I was able to see the vivid, bright colors that had been surrounding me all along, but were now enhanced and seemed so much more beautiful than before. There were so many things I experienced for the first time with him: Sushi, Virginia, Betos, a really good kiss, doing donuts in the church parking lot. After he passed away, part of me felt that all of those things had passed away with him. As more time has passed, and as I reflect more upon why it is that I loved him so much, and what it was that I loved, I realized that though I thought I was falling in love with him, he was really showing me how to fall in love with life. He showed me that life should be lived on purpose, that dreams can and should be achieved. When you long to soar above the clouds, you grab a plane by the yoke, spread your wings, and learn how to fly. There might be some strong headwinds. Your engine may stall. You may be forced to make a few bumpy landings. But all those things are part of what makes the moment that you break through the clouds that much more thrilling. When you look down below at all the things you've risen above, you realize that with enough persistence and the right equipment, life's gravity has had little power to hold you down. Though our dreams may not always play out exactly as we expect, we can still choose to make this life a unique and wonderful experience.

Though I sometimes wonder how I can ever love anyone as much as I loved Lucien, I know that there are still many more "firsts" to experience in life. Among other things, I've still never walked along a white sands beach, visited New York City, or held my own newborn baby. And there are plenty of sweet moments I would love to experience again, like waking up next to someone I truly love, laughing until my face hurts from smiling, and of course, a really really good kiss! ;-) Though I am sad that I can't experience all of these things with Lucien (at least in this life), I know that he wouldn't want me to not be able to experience these living jewels because of his absence. When the time is right and with the right person, I believe I will be able to open up my heart again to give and receive the kind of love that Lucien and I shared. But even if that never happens, I will consider myself one of the luckiest people in the world to have already had so many treasured moments. Many people go throughout their whole lives never knowing what it is like to really be loved. Now THAT would be a real tragedy.

3-My family-Though none of us are perfect by any definition, I must say that I do have a pretty good group of folks to call my own. We all have our own little quirks, but in all, I'm glad to be a part of this family. My parents are two of the sweetest people you'll ever meet. My brothers and sisters are all pretty well educated and pretty successful. We all have different personalities and different interests, but growing up and working together on our family farm has given us an understanding of each other that nobody else quite gets. And when I talk about loving my family, its not just my blood relatives either. My in-laws are pretty great too. I hear a lot of people complaining about their in-laws, but my sisters-in-law are two of my best friends, and my mother-in-law is one of the most caring people I know. Even though I don't get to see them as often as they or I would like, I'm thankful that we have been able to stay as close as we have even after Lucien's death. I read a quote recently that sums this all up pretty well: "Families are like fudge, mostly sweet with a few nuts!"

Anyway, there are plenty of other things I am thankful for and which I could expound upon, like my job, education, the country I live in, my dog, and chocolate, but even if I had nothing else than what I have listed above, I would consider myself one of the luckiest people in the world! Life is beautiful, isn't it?!

Fun In Wisconsin

Here are a few photos from my trip to Wisconsin. I had a lot of fun with Bridger and Carter and learned a lot about kids. I learned that there are a few things you just learn to get used to when children are involved. For example....

With 2 kids under age 3, it doesn't take very long for a house to go from looking like this....

to looking like this!

Although I'm not a huge fan of kids watching a lot of tv, after all the ideas you have to keep them entertained were met with failure, and it's only 10:00 am, sometimes a 20 minute dvd can be your best friend! Look how captivated they are! Sometimes I used Charlie Brown to buy a few minutes to actually get myself dressed and cleaned up for the day. I no longer wonder why some moms look like they didn't look at themselves in the mirror before they walked out of the house. Who has time for indulgences like showers and makeup?

Despite all your efforts to please, kids can always find a way to be unsatisfied. After watching "Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving Dinner" Bridger wanted to make pumpkin pie like Snoopy. Thinking that he actually wanted to eat it too, I found all the ingredients and we went to work. Bridger had fun smashing the dough and stirring ingredients together.

However, although Bridger had seen all the orangy pumpkin stuff we put in the pie, when it was finally done and it was time to eat it, he took one look at the pie, stuck his finger in it, stared at his finger with a disgusted look on his face and said, "I don't like this orange stuff. Its yucky!" and then refused to eat it.

Carter, on the other hand, wolfed down the pie like it was going out of style! He probably ate more of the pie over the course of 3 days than I did!

On another note, one night right before heading to the neighbor's house for dinner, I quickly ran downstairs to check on some laundry. Bridger and Carter were playing in the big room downstairs when Bridger said "Hey! Its wet!" At about that same moment, I looked down at the carpet and saw a shallow but large puddle of water that covered about half of the basement. Being a little panicked, I looked around to see where it was coming from while I frantically called Mona and said "Your basement is flooding!!" I found out that the water heater was leaking and was soon getting directions from Ben on how to remedy the situation. I brought the kids over to the neighbors where they could be watched while I took care of the mess. (Thanks Jamie!)

Luckily, some of Ben & Mona's friends were able to come over that night to help clean up the water and get some fans going to dry out the carpet. A plumber came the next day to replace the broken water heater.

Here are some photos of Halloween. We had a great time! Carter was dressed as Elmo, and Bridger was a fireman. I took them to the mall to go trick-or-treating, and a bunch of Japanese people saw Carter and started pointing and laughing and taking pictures of him. He just stared at them wondering why they were talking funny and what all the commotion was for. Bridger got scared of the people dressed in funny clothes, so we didn't stay for long. When Ben and Mona got home that night, we went trick or treating again down the street they live on with the neighbors and their kids. I couldn't have picked a better way to spend Halloween. I didn't really want to come home, and I guess I could have stayed, since my wallet got stolen while I was there and I didn't have any ID. But after a series of questions and some extra screening by airport security, they finally let me board my plane and I had to fly home and get back to life as a student. I miss my nephews and all the fun we had and can't wait to see them again!

Precious Moments….Mostly!

While my sister and brother-in-law, Mona and Ben have been away doing second interviews for Ben’s job, they have entrusted me again with the care of their two precious little kiddoes, Bridger and Carter. I must be getting used to this nannying business, because last time I was here at the end of August, I was completely exhausted by noon and would crash on the couch as soon as I had put the boys down for their naps while praying they would stay asleep for a long time. This time around, when its naptime, I still have energy to clean the house, check email, and even get in a little bit of LSAT studying time. Also, last time I was here, my back would be aching so bad at the end of the day, I would have trouble sleeping even though I was so tired, and I had to rely on Ibuprofen to get me through to the next morning. This time, I prepared myself by doing some back exercises starting a couple of weeks before I came, and I also learned some great stretches to do that help relieve the tension in my back. It also helps that Carter is walking now, so he doesn’t have to be carried everywhere, although he still wants to be held and carried every once in awhile.

Being around these two little angels has definitely had a variety of moments ranging from those filled with laughter to those filled with frustration, from thinking this is the greatest job in the world to wondering how the heck parents do this every day. Here are a few examples:

-After banging Carter on the head with bath toys, and then having Carter return the favor, then both of them bursting into giggles and hugging, Bridger proudly smiled up at me and exclaimed “We be’d not kind to eachother, Aunt Val! We be’d MEAN! And now we’re kind again!!”

-Carter’s favorite thing to do is to blow “berzerts” on any amount of bare skin he can find. This surprised me the first time it happened because after watching him running around giggling and playing with toys for a few minutes, he looked at me with his shy little smile, walked up to me quietly and opened up his arms as if he wanted a hug. I proudly picked him up and held him close, thinking it was a kind guesture of his affection. I snuggled him in my arms, he buried his head in my neck, and the next thing I knew he was blowing loudly on my bare neck! This caught me completely off guard, and set me off laughing, which in turn made Carter giggle hysterically and then he repeated it over and over again. Now, any time he sees any bare skin (i.e. the skin of my lower back that happened to be exposed while I was bending over picking up toys!) he tries to blow as loudly as he can on it and then bursts into giggles. He even tried to do it on my legs through my nylons as he sat on the floor beneath the bench at church.

-While naptime usually proceeds without much more than the normal weak protests, today was especially chaotic. About 20 minutes after putting Bridger down, I heard him bawling and sobbing and screaming. I opened the door, worried, and asked him what was wrong. He looked at me with huge tears running down his little cheeks and sobbed “I WANT MY DADDY!!” and then continued to be unconsolable. I sat down on his bed next to him and hugged him and tried to calm him down, telling him that Mommy and Daddy would be home on Halloween, that they loved him, that Daddy was busy talking to people at the hospitals. I asked Bridger if he loved his Daddy, and he said “Yes.” Then I asked “What does your Daddy do for you that you love?” and he answered “He paints the door.” Surprised at his answer, and trying not to laugh, I asked “What else does he do?” Bridger replied, “He…(sniffle)..mows (sniffle) da yawn.” Then, I heard Carter screaming from his room. I got up from Bridger’s bed, went to Carter’s room and opened the door to see one of his legs sticking through the slats of his crib, jerking violently. Somehow he had stuck his foot through the slats then turned his leg so he was unable to get it back out again, so he was stuck all the way up to his thigh. I gently maneuvered his foot out, and of course, as soon as it was free, Carter jumped up and held up his arms while sobbing. I picked him up and hugged him, tried to calm him down, picked up his bottle and carried them both to the kitchen so I could fill up his bottle again and put him back down. After doing that, I heard Bridger crying for his daddy again. I went back to his opened door, peeked in, and he looked up at me and sobbed, “Wet!” I looked at the puddle on the sheets beneath him and then remembered that I had forgotten to make him go potty before giving him his nap. With both children still sobbing and screaming I decided to abort the naptime mission. We got Bridger cleaned up, changed his sheets, and then decided to go to the store instead, which wasn't necessarily a less chaotic activity, but it cheered us all up anyway.

-Carter can’t talk yet, but he is learning a little bit of sign language. Over the last few days, Carter has learned how to say “dog,” “All done,” “baby” and “fish” in sign language. It is adorable to see him proudly smile each time he successfully makes a sign that I can recognize.

And most rewarding of all…

-After playing with some pots and pans on the kitchen floor, Bridger stood up, smiled at me and then said “I love you!” then began dancing around the kitchen while repeating it over and over in his sweet, musical, sing-song voice “I love you! I love you! I love you!” Suddenly, wet beds and aborted naptimes don’t seem so bad anymore, and I understand why parents do what they do day in and day out. :-)

Mommy for the Weekend

Last week, my sister, Mona, and her husband, Ben had to take a trip to Spokane, Washington for a job interview. While they were gone, I had the lovely opportunity to babysit my adorable nephews, Bridger, (2 1/2) and Carter (1 year) at their home in Madison, Wisconsin.

I arrived in Madison on Tuesday, August 25th and stayed there for a few days while Mona and Ben were still around. They left on Saturday and returned the next Tuesday. Though I was only

on my own with the kids for about 4 days, it was definitely long enough for me to gain a new appreciation for motherhood and what moms do every day.

I thoroughly enjoyed what Mona's neighbor, Jamie, described as "Moments of fun surrounded by chaos!" The little moments of giggles and laughter, singing, jumping, and playing were definitely worth getting through the just as numerous periods of crying, pooping, whining, daiper changing, and endless questions like "Can we go pick up Mommy and Daddy from the 'Olport' (airport) now?"

Bridger is at that adorable stage where he is fascinated with the world around him, and his favorite question is "Why?" which he repeats thousands of times a day. Though the endless

"Why?"s did get old after a while, it did force me to get a little creative with my answers:

Bridger: "What is that man doing with his dog?"

Aunt Val: "He's taking it for a walk."

Bridger: "Why?"

Aunt Val: "So his dog can get some exercise."

Bridger: "Why?"

Aunt Val: "So his dog doesn't get too fat."

Bridger: "Why?"

Aunt Val: "Because if his dog doesn't get exercise, it will get so fat it won't be able to leave the house."

Bridger: "Why?"

Aunt Val: "Um.... Because.... he will get SO big from eating his food and not exercising that he won't be able to fit through the door anymore."

Bridger: "Why?"

Aunt Val: "Because they don't make doors big enough for fat dogs that don't get exercise."

Bridger: "Why?"

Aunt Val: "Um...(sigh of annoyance and slight frustration)...Because.... Oh wow! Look at that!"

Bridger: "What? Where?"

Aunt Val: "I don't know, did you see something?"

Bridger: "Why is that dog pooping?"

Aunt Val: "Oh dear."

In all, I was actually quite impressed with how well the kids behaved while their parents were

away. Mona has spent a lot of time and energy helping them become accustomed to a regular schedule and it really paid off while she and Ben were away. Whenever it was time for naps, as long as I made sure to go through the regular routine before naptime, the kids went right to sleep without any more than the usual protests or requests to "read just one more book?"

We had a lot of fun making popsicles, finger painting, going to the park, kicking the soccer ball, playing with bubbles, eating, singing songs, watching Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang, and what Bridger enjoyed most of all was "playing airplane" where we would "fly" to Spokane, Washington and then fly back to Wisconsin.

It wasn't all fun and games, though. Bridger kept wanting to play with his dad's golf club and would swing it all over the place, making me worried that he would whack Carter in the head or break something. I finally decided to put his interest to good use, and told him to beat out the rug with the golf club, which he was more than happy to do. :-)

Needless to say, Bridger was very excited to go to the "Olport" to pick up Mommy and Daddy on Tuesday night. Carter, on the other hand, hardly recognized Mona and turned away his shy little face every time she would look at him. After a few minutes he finally warmed back up to her.

It really was a fun experience and I'm so thankful I was available to do this for my sister. The enjoyment I got out of my time spent with these two little boys was probably worth more to me than what my sister would have had to pay for a babysitter. Though my back was very sore by the end of the 4 days from lifting 25 pound blobs of squirming little people, picking up toys, and wrestling Carter into his car seat, I must admit, that I missed being with them as soon as I got on my plane to leave. I am a little envious of mothers who get to spend all their time with little angels like these. I am looking forward to the day (someday) when I can have a few little munchkins of my own to keep me busy, tired, and thoroughly happy.