Well... I have now learned to
NEVER say NEVER!
On Friday, November 26, 2010 at approximately 3:30 pm, just over 2 months since our first date, Steven Kinkead knelt down on one knee in a beautiful grove of pine trees (aka a Christmas Tree lot) in Mountain Green, Utah. A fresh layer of snow covered the ground, the sun was low in the horizon, the air was crisp, clean and quiet. He asked me to marry him. I enthusiastically said "YES!!"
He slipped a sparkly ring on my finger, we kissed and hugged, I jumped up and down with excitement and proclaimed with delight, "We're gonna get married!!!"
As I stood there wrapped in the arms of this sweet, loving, brave, strong, amazing man, I marvelled, as I often have, at how quickly life can change. I am so thankful that this time it has changed for the better. :)
How We Met
As many of you know, I enjoy dancing a lot. Since I moved back into my condo in Provo, I have been frequently visiting a little dance venue just a few blocks from where I live called "Blue Tango" where they have Blues dancing on Thursday nights.
One night, back in July, I danced a couple of times with this nice, handsome guy named Steve. He told me he was in the army and had a couple weeks off before he was leaving to do some training in California. Then he would have a couple more weeks off before he would be deployed to go to Afghanistan. Maybe it was due to an over-zealous sense of patriotic duty, or maybe it was fate prompting me to action, but initially, I thought, "That's kind of cool that he's going to Afghanistan. Maybe I can get to know him a little bit so I can send him an email once in a while and find out how things really are out there from a soldier's perspective." Romance didn't really cross my mind, and I didn't really think there was enough time to allow any chance for anything more than a casual friendship to develop anyway. He seemed like a really good guy though, so that night I asked him to give me a ride home so I wouldn't have to walk the few blocks home in the dark. We chatted a little more in his car, then I wished him well with his training and told him that I hoped I would be able to see him again before he left for Afghanistan. That night I added him as a friend on facebook, (although Steve insists that HE was the one that added ME as a friend, I distinctly remember that I was the first to send him a friend request ;-p) but we didn't really have much communication for a while after that.
A few months later, on September 23, I once again went to Blue Tango and-lo and behold-Steven was there again! I was excited to see him and I asked him how his training went and how much time he had before leaving for Afghanistan. We chatted for quite a while, and he asked me to dance several times. I admit, I was feeling quite flirtatious that night, and it was nice to have someone reciprocate my flirtations. :) At one point in the evening, Steven asked me if I would like to go to dinner with him sometime. I told him I would love to. That night I asked him again to give me a ride home, and we made plans to meet in Salt Lake the following evening for dinner and dancing.
Our First Date
Since Steve lives in Mountain Green, which is about a 1.5-2 hour drive from Provo, though he was willing to drive all that way, I felt bad making him drive that far to pick me up which is why I agreed to meet him in Salt Lake. It turns out that traffic in Provo on Friday nights is HORRIBLE! So though I had planned to meet Steve at a certain time up in Salt Lake, it ended up working out better for him to meet me at Thanksgiving Point where we had dinner. I remember that the dinner I had wasn't as impressive as I hoped it would be, but the conversation was great! I learned a lot about Steve and I began to recognize that he is a very good-hearted man. We had planned to go dancing after dinner, but I had had a long day at work, and that added to the horrible drive in Construction-ridden traffic had given me a headache, so we decided that maybe we should watch a movie instead.
It was a really good first date and I was surprised at how comfortable I felt with him. We seemed to have a lot in common, having both grown up most of our lives in Utah. We had similar interests in dancing, movies, and music. Overall, I was impressed with his ability to keep an interesting conversation going and with his variety life of experience. He was intelligent, humorous, and most importantly of all, he was just a REALLY NICE guy! I felt that he really appreciated having me as company. At this point I still didn't think we would ever be more than just good friends because of the timing of everything, but I was definitely intrigued and was bummed that he was going to be leaving soon.
We had a pseudo-second date the next day. We met each other in Salt Lake at Ballroom Utah for more dancing and then made crepes and watched another movie. Then Steve left for a couple of days to visit family in Washington state. He ended his trip a little early just so he could come see me a few more times before he left. We went on several more dates including watching General Conference together, going to his best friend's kid's soccer game, dinner with the Poll family in Mountain Green, a Halloween Cruise on the Provo River, dinner at the Blue Iguana, and of course, more dancing. :-)
By the time it was time for him to deploy on October 10, we had spent the majority of the last 2 weeks together. Like the words of a certain really cheesy country song, "As the days got shorter, our talks got longer, the kisses got sweeter and the feelings got stronger..." and before I knew it, I was in love!! I couldn't believe that this had happened so quickly! I was really concerned about the fact that it had happened so quickly and I was still nervous about what the future would bring. I was worried that what I felt was just infatuation or the result of feeling that time was passing me by and I just wanted to be married again.
Though I had a lot of questions and concerns, one thing that I did know was that Steven treated me like a queen and that I was always happy to be with him. He is so thoughtful and caring. One example that shows the sweet thoughtfulness that this man is capable of happened the day after we had been watching a movie called "Stranger Than Fiction." Mr. Crick, the male character in the movie brings Miss Pascal, the baker, a dozen "flours" and tells her "I want you.... In no uncertain terms." Later, Miss Pascal brings Mr. Crick "Bavarian Sugar Cookies." While we were watching, I just made the small comment, "I don't know what Bavarian Sugar cookies are, but that sounds really good right now!" The next day, Steven showed up at my door with a bouquet of red rose flowers and a huge batch of Bavarian sugar cookies that he had made and frosted himself! He gave me a big hug and said, "I want you. In no uncertain terms." It was SO cute!! Steven continues to do sweet little things that let me know that he is thinking of me. (Some of these cute little things he says and does also pretty much make him the King of Sappy, but don't tell him I let his secret out!)
Deployment
On October 10th, Steven left for Fort McCoy in Wisconsin for 6 weeks of specialized training as part of his deployment. I went to the Browning Reserve Center to see him off.
Steven warned me then that when he came back for Thanksgiving, that he just might be asking me some crazy questions, so to be prepared for it. Though part of me was excited at the thought of marrying this man, the more sensible part of me was telling me that this was way too crazy, way too fast. I had a lot of strong feelings for Steven, but would they be strong enough to last through a long-term, long-distance relationship? After he left, I thought and prayed a lot about this relationship. I also went through several periods of doubts and concerns, at one point telling him that I thought we should just be friends, and that if I was still available when he got back after his 14 month deployment, I would be happy to pursue a relationship. The night after I told him that, I felt absolutely sick to my stomach and wondered if I had done the right thing. After I had been on a couple of first dates with some other guys that turned out to not be nearly as great as my first date with Steven, I realized that despite my concerns, if there was even a remote possibility that things could work out with him, I wanted to give it a chance. During this whole time, Steven never faltered in his feelings for me. He continued to call me and we would talk for at least an hour almost every day. He continued to tell me how much he cared about me and I knew that he would be willing to do whatever it took to make this relationship work despite the odds being stacked against us. I was really impressed at how much our relationship was able to deepen and grow stronger despite the physical distance between us. Every week or two, I get a CD in the mail that has little videos Steven has made just for me. His willingness to take time out of his day to show me what is going on helps me to feel included as an important part of his life and helps bridge the distance between us. (Also, the fact that he is willing to endure ridicule from his army buddies while he makes these little videos for me makes them that much more sweet to me. ;)
Stay tuned for more information about Steve, the wedding, etc.
